Besides, whatever you think, this iPhone-toting, skinny-jeaned demographic is pretty convinced it's something special – just like every other generation of young people before it
Name: Generation Y.
Age: Somewhere between 18 and 30.
Appearance: Skinny-jeaned, floppy-haired, massively entitled, whiny.
Hey, I'm somewhere between 18 and 30. Stop being rude. Don't blame me. I'm not an expert, I'm just saying what I see. People get paid a fortune to define the prevailing characteristics of each generation.
And what do those people say? In a nutshell: baby boomers are wealthy and selfish. Generation Xers are disappointed and cynical. And millennials – that's you – are whiny and entitled.
Hey, I said stop being so mean! See? Entitled.
But didn't baby boomers think that Generation X was entitled? And didn't the second world war generation think that baby boomers were entitled? Well, yes, I suppose so. So all you're really saying is that everyone assumes that society peaked when they were a teenager, and that every subsequent generation is a horrible disappointment? Perhaps.
But you're the first generation to call yourselves “digital natives”, which is a horrible term. That just means we know how to use smartphones. But you don't have to use them all the time. You don't have to tweet every meal you eat, or make Vines of every concert you go to, or Snapchat Instagrams of selfies and poke them at people on Facebook. Do you actually know what you're talking about? You want the latest phone and you want the best job, even if you haven't earned it. You think you're special, even though it's painfully obvious to the rest of the world that you're just as mediocre as everyone else. Your life is a mess of unrealistic expectations. Ah, I get it. You're jealous. Not at all. Science is on my side here. The University of New Hampshire did a study and found that all your impossible expectations make you horrible employees. Wow, that's depressing. Can't you say anything to cheer me up? Well, I'm obviously not talking about you here. You're brilliant.
Really? I knew it! Just kidding. You're the worst.
Then how do I get better? You don't. In a couple of years, Generation Z will come of age. Then you'll have someone to pick on for being lazy and disappointing. Honestly, it's so much fun. You'll love it.
Do say: “Clearly none of this applies to me. I really am special.”
Don't say: “But what comes after Generation Z?”