Sri Lanka is perhaps a great "melting pot" with a rich blend of cultural traditions from all over the country. It is a multi-ethnic, multi-lingual conglomerate with many customs dating back to many a century. Quite a few families can trace their histories to travelling from place to place, enduring risk and hardship and finally ending up in a place to make a home where they would be comfortable and happy. Others have been staying put in ancestral properties and residences. In such a society, there is a great variation in the beliefs, customs and preferences of many different shades which percolate into the behaviour patterns of the populace. In the midst of such an environment, today, more than ever before, children have to interact with people of differing ethnicities, religions, and cultures. Classrooms are becoming increasingly diverse, reflecting the communities where families live and work. Given the things that children are exposed and subjected to, the need to develop tolerance to many different things is indeed a necessity.Read moreTolerance refers to an attitude of openness and respect for the differences that exist among people. Although originally used to refer to ethnic and religious differences, the concepts of diversity and tolerance can also be applied to gender, people with physical and intellectual disabilities and other differences too. This means respecting and learning from others, valuing differences, bridging cultural gaps, rejecting unfair stereotypes, discovering common ground and creating new bonds. A very significant part of it is to respect and care for other people. Children should be taught that it is not only the deities, the clergy, the elders, the teachers and the parents that they should respect but that everybody whom they come into contact with deserves to be respected. Tolerance, in many ways, is the opposite of prejudice. In fact, as for as Sri Lanka is concerned, at this crucial juncture in the march of time, after many decades of all types of strife, there is nothing else that this country desperately needs more for a steady march towards prosperity, than the great virtue of tolerance.
Some parents welcome the fact that we live in an increasingly diverse society. Others may feel a little bit more uncomfortable and hesitant, especially if they have not had much exposure to people different from themselves. Many children are in fact way ahead of their parents regarding exposure to cultural differences. Their circle of friends, their schoolmates and their athletic teams are much more varied than those of even a generation ago. However, even with their lack of experience and perhaps in spite of their own perceptions, parents do need to help their children to prepare themselves to live, learn and work in communities that will become even more diverse in the future. It is a matter of fact that whether anyone likes it or not, and whether they are from whichever area of the country, the necessity to mingle with and work together with others of different beliefs and attitudes is an omnipresent challenge in life.
Teaching tolerance is important not just because it is part of our Sri Lankan heritage, espoused by three of the greatest religions of the world that this country is blessed with, but because the person who learns to be open to differences will have more opportunities in education, business and many other aspects of life. A pleasant and tolerant personality is likely to go a very long way in life. In short, a child's future success in life depends on it. Success in today's world, and for that matter, tomorrow's as well, depends on being able to understand, appreciate and work with others. It is necessary to appreciate that tolerance is not just a desirable thing but is an essential quality in more ways than one.
However, tolerance does not mean that all behaviours have to be accepted. Behaviour patterns that disrespect or hurt others, like being mean or bullying, or behaviours that break social rules, like lying or stealing, should not be and cannot be tolerated. Tolerance is about accepting people for who they are and for what they are. It is certainly not about blindly accepting bad behaviour. Such undesirable traits cannot be tolerated and punitive action may generally be necessary in those circumstances. Tolerance also means treating others the way one would like to be treated oneself. This fundamental adage is so very crucial to tolerance being given pride of place amongst all virtues.
Like all attitudes, tolerance is often taught in subtle ways. Even before they can speak, babies and children closely watch and imitate their parents. Children of all ages develop their own values, in great part, by mirroring the values and attitudes of those they care about. Many parents live and work in diverse communities and have friends who are different from themselves in some or in many ways. Parents' attitudes about respecting others are often so much a part of them that they rarely even think about it. They teach those attitudes simply by being themselves and living their values. Parents who demonstrate or model tolerance in their everyday lives send a powerful message. As a result, their children learn to appreciate differences, too. It is of course necessary to emphasise that celebrating differences of others does not mean that one has to give up one’s heritage. Each family may have its own long-standing cultural and religious traditions that are something to be proud of. Families can find ways to celebrate differences of others while continuing to honour and pass down their own cultural heritage to their progeny.
Parents can teach tolerance by example and in other ways, too. Talking together about tolerance and respect helps children learn more about the values the parents want them to have. Giving them opportunities to play and work with others is important as well. This lets the children learn firsthand that everyone has something to contribute and to experience differences and similarities. A wider outlook in life is the ultimate end result of being exposed to such a variety of different perceptions, varied cultures and a multitude of hallowed traditions of different religions.
It is important for parents to note their own attitudes. Parents who want to help their children value diversity should be sensitive to cultural stereotypes they may have learned and make an effort to correct any misconceptions. They need to clearly demonstrate an attitude of respect for others. It is good to remember that children are always listening and one should be aware of the way one talks about people who are different from himself or herself. It is not a good idea at all to make jokes that perpetuate certain stereotypes. Although some of these may seem to be harmless fun, they can undo attitudes of tolerance and respect that have been inculcated in children. Parents need to select books, toys, music, art, and videos carefully. One should keep in the back of one’s mind the powerful effect the media and pop culture have on shaping attitudes. One needs to point out and talk about unfair stereotypes that may be portrayed in media. Parents should answer questions posed by children on differences, honestly and respectfully. This teaches that it is acceptable to notice and discuss differences as long as it is done with respect. In fact one also needs to acknowledge and respect differences within one’s own family. Parents need to demonstrate acceptance of their own children's differing abilities, interests, and styles. It really boils down to valuing the uniqueness of each member of the family. However, it must be reiterated that tolerance does not mean tolerating unacceptable behaviour. Parents need to emphasise that everyone deserves to be treated with respect and they in turn should treat others with respect as well.
It is a very good practice to help children to feel good about themselves. Those children who feel badly about themselves often treat others badly. Many of them with a strong self-esteem value and with self respect are much more likely to treat others with respect too. All parents should help their children to feel accepted, respected and valued. Children should be given every opportunity to work and play with others who are different from them. Such endeavours should not be limited by race, caste, creed and wealth considerations. When choosing a school, a day camp, or a child-care facility for a child, it is sound practice to try and find one with a diverse population. Parents and caregivers should take steps to discuss and learn with their children about holiday and religious celebrations that are not part of their own races, religions and traditions. In addition, they should always strive to honour the family traditions and teach these to their children and, for that matter to anyone, outside the family, including other children. It is a great truism that when parents encourage a tolerant attitude in their children, talk about their values and model the behaviour they would like to see by treating others well, children would naturally follow in their footsteps.
In addition to the things that children could learn about tolerance from their immediate family, an important institution that could provide lasting instructions on the subject is the school. Respect for others and tolerance could be taught at all times in the school environment. Perhaps even more importantly, being exposed to such a diverse mix of social strata, cultural features and even complex social elements in the form of their peers in school, is a very important and practical way of learning tolerance. The value of a good school which inculcates the traditional virtues of tolerance at all times is definitely inestimable.
Sporting fields and sporting teams are other valuable sources that are, by their very nature, perfectly geared to encourage the virtue of tolerance in children. It has been said that any kind of sport is a great leveller. Everything else except performance and talent are put aside in any sport or perhaps that is how it should be. Children would learn through their experiences in such arenas, the great value of respecting others and being tolerant even to the extent of even being charitable in the face of adverse performances in sport. Sport can be the nurturing ground to equip a child to handle the many challenges and travails of life.
Having said all this, it is most unfortunate and greatly regrettable, that in many instances, tolerance is not the greatest of virtues in society and in many people, including children. If one looks around, intolerance is more than ever present and is undoubtedly a thoroughly undesirable trait in the general populace of this country. There is intolerance among politicians, ethnic groups, religious sects, different social strata and perhaps in every possible different category of people. Even the people on the roads, pedestrians as well as drivers of vehicles, are rather intolerant of each other. It is essential to unequivocally proclaim, as the great religions do, that tolerance is as essential as sunshine for a productive, happy and contented life.
KEY POINTS
* In a country like Sri Lanka with a multiplicity of different cultures children would come across a variety of behaviour patterns.
* Children are exposed to different religious, ethnic and cultural profiles.
* Tolerance refers to an attitude of openness and respect for the differences that exist among people.
* Parents need to take an active part in teaching the benefits of tolerance to their children.
* A tolerant child would grow up to be a well balanced and caring person.
* Parents should also be good role models.
* Schools and sporting fields are very good places to teach tolerance to children.
The Island by Dr. B. J. C. Perera MBBS(Ceylon), DCH(Ceylon), DCH(England), MD(Paediatrics), FRCP(Edinburgh), FRCP(London), FRCPCH(United Kingdom), FSLCPaed, FCCP, FCGP(Sri Lanka) Consultant Paediatrician
Sri Lanka is perhaps a great "melting pot" with a rich blend of cultural traditions from all over the country. It is a multi-ethnic, multi-lingual conglomerate with many customs dating back to many a century. Quite a few families can trace their histories to travelling from place to place, enduring risk and hardship and finally ending up in a place to make a home where they would be comfortable and happy. Others have been staying put in ancestral properties and residences. In such a society, there is a great variation in the beliefs, customs and preferences of many different shades which percolate into the behaviour patterns of the populace. In the midst of such an environment, today, more than ever before, children have to interact with people of differing ethnicities, religions, and cultures. Classrooms are becoming increasingly diverse, reflecting the communities where families live and work. Given the things that children are exposed and subjected to, the need to develop tolerance to many different things is indeed a necessity.
Some parents welcome the fact that we live in an increasingly diverse society. Others may feel a little bit more uncomfortable and hesitant, especially if they have not had much exposure to people different from themselves. Many children are in fact way ahead of their parents regarding exposure to cultural differences. Their circle of friends, their schoolmates and their athletic teams are much more varied than those of even a generation ago. However, even with their lack of experience and perhaps in spite of their own perceptions, parents do need to help their children to prepare themselves to live, learn and work in communities that will become even more diverse in the future. It is a matter of fact that whether anyone likes it or not, and whether they are from whichever area of the country, the necessity to mingle with and work together with others of different beliefs and attitudes is an omnipresent challenge in life.
Teaching tolerance is important not just because it is part of our Sri Lankan heritage, espoused by three of the greatest religions of the world that this country is blessed with, but because the person who learns to be open to differences will have more opportunities in education, business and many other aspects of life. A pleasant and tolerant personality is likely to go a very long way in life. In short, a child's future success in life depends on it. Success in today's world, and for that matter, tomorrow's as well, depends on being able to understand, appreciate and work with others. It is necessary to appreciate that tolerance is not just a desirable thing but is an essential quality in more ways than one.
However, tolerance does not mean that all behaviours have to be accepted. Behaviour patterns that disrespect or hurt others, like being mean or bullying, or behaviours that break social rules, like lying or stealing, should not be and cannot be tolerated. Tolerance is about accepting people for who they are and for what they are. It is certainly not about blindly accepting bad behaviour. Such undesirable traits cannot be tolerated and punitive action may generally be necessary in those circumstances. Tolerance also means treating others the way one would like to be treated oneself. This fundamental adage is so very crucial to tolerance being given pride of place amongst all virtues.
Like all attitudes, tolerance is often taught in subtle ways. Even before they can speak, babies and children closely watch and imitate their parents. Children of all ages develop their own values, in great part, by mirroring the values and attitudes of those they care about. Many parents live and work in diverse communities and have friends who are different from themselves in some or in many ways. Parents' attitudes about respecting others are often so much a part of them that they rarely even think about it. They teach those attitudes simply by being themselves and living their values. Parents who demonstrate or model tolerance in their everyday lives send a powerful message. As a result, their children learn to appreciate differences, too. It is of course necessary to emphasise that celebrating differences of others does not mean that one has to give up one’s heritage. Each family may have its own long-standing cultural and religious traditions that are something to be proud of. Families can find ways to celebrate differences of others while continuing to honour and pass down their own cultural heritage to their progeny.
Parents can teach tolerance by example and in other ways, too. Talking together about tolerance and respect helps children learn more about the values the parents want them to have. Giving them opportunities to play and work with others is important as well. This lets the children learn firsthand that everyone has something to contribute and to experience differences and similarities. A wider outlook in life is the ultimate end result of being exposed to such a variety of different perceptions, varied cultures and a multitude of hallowed traditions of different religions.
It is important for parents to note their own attitudes. Parents who want to help their children value diversity should be sensitive to cultural stereotypes they may have learned and make an effort to correct any misconceptions. They need to clearly demonstrate an attitude of respect for others. It is good to remember that children are always listening and one should be aware of the way one talks about people who are different from himself or herself. It is not a good idea at all to make jokes that perpetuate certain stereotypes. Although some of these may seem to be harmless fun, they can undo attitudes of tolerance and respect that have been inculcated in children. Parents need to select books, toys, music, art, and videos carefully. One should keep in the back of one’s mind the powerful effect the media and pop culture have on shaping attitudes. One needs to point out and talk about unfair stereotypes that may be portrayed in media. Parents should answer questions posed by children on differences, honestly and respectfully. This teaches that it is acceptable to notice and discuss differences as long as it is done with respect. In fact one also needs to acknowledge and respect differences within one’s own family. Parents need to demonstrate acceptance of their own children's differing abilities, interests, and styles. It really boils down to valuing the uniqueness of each member of the family. However, it must be reiterated that tolerance does not mean tolerating unacceptable behaviour. Parents need to emphasise that everyone deserves to be treated with respect and they in turn should treat others with respect as well.
It is a very good practice to help children to feel good about themselves. Those children who feel badly about themselves often treat others badly. Many of them with a strong self-esteem value and with self respect are much more likely to treat others with respect too. All parents should help their children to feel accepted, respected and valued. Children should be given every opportunity to work and play with others who are different from them. Such endeavours should not be limited by race, caste, creed and wealth considerations. When choosing a school, a day camp, or a child-care facility for a child, it is sound practice to try and find one with a diverse population. Parents and caregivers should take steps to discuss and learn with their children about holiday and religious celebrations that are not part of their own races, religions and traditions. In addition, they should always strive to honour the family traditions and teach these to their children and, for that matter to anyone, outside the family, including other children. It is a great truism that when parents encourage a tolerant attitude in their children, talk about their values and model the behaviour they would like to see by treating others well, children would naturally follow in their footsteps.
In addition to the things that children could learn about tolerance from their immediate family, an important institution that could provide lasting instructions on the subject is the school. Respect for others and tolerance could be taught at all times in the school environment. Perhaps even more importantly, being exposed to such a diverse mix of social strata, cultural features and even complex social elements in the form of their peers in school, is a very important and practical way of learning tolerance. The value of a good school which inculcates the traditional virtues of tolerance at all times is definitely inestimable.
Sporting fields and sporting teams are other valuable sources that are, by their very nature, perfectly geared to encourage the virtue of tolerance in children. It has been said that any kind of sport is a great leveller. Everything else except performance and talent are put aside in any sport or perhaps that is how it should be. Children would learn through their experiences in such arenas, the great value of respecting others and being tolerant even to the extent of even being charitable in the face of adverse performances in sport. Sport can be the nurturing ground to equip a child to handle the many challenges and travails of life.
Having said all this, it is most unfortunate and greatly regrettable, that in many instances, tolerance is not the greatest of virtues in society and in many people, including children. If one looks around, intolerance is more than ever present and is undoubtedly a thoroughly undesirable trait in the general populace of this country. There is intolerance among politicians, ethnic groups, religious sects, different social strata and perhaps in every possible different category of people. Even the people on the roads, pedestrians as well as drivers of vehicles, are rather intolerant of each other. It is essential to unequivocally proclaim, as the great religions do, that tolerance is as essential as sunshine for a productive, happy and contented life.
KEY POINTS
* In a country like Sri Lanka with a multiplicity of different cultures children would come across a variety of behaviour patterns.
* Children are exposed to different religious, ethnic and cultural profiles.
* Tolerance refers to an attitude of openness and respect for the differences that exist among people.
* Parents need to take an active part in teaching the benefits of tolerance to their children.
* A tolerant child would grow up to be a well balanced and caring person.
* Parents should also be good role models.
* Schools and sporting fields are very good places to teach tolerance to children.
The Island by Dr. B. J. C. Perera MBBS(Ceylon), DCH(Ceylon), DCH(England), MD(Paediatrics), FRCP(Edinburgh), FRCP(London), FRCPCH(United Kingdom), FSLCPaed, FCCP, FCGP(Sri Lanka) Consultant Paediatrician
