On the third Sunday in June every year from 1910 every son and every daughter world over is reminded of his or her responsibility to honour his or her hero - the greatest man in life who is there to help, direct, advise, guide caress and teach him or her to make him or her feel secure and to make available all pleasures in life. There are unfortunate sons and daughters who can only remember the good old days and thank their ‘dads’ for what good they had done when they were living.
This day is an occasion to recall, recognize and remember those endless pains he had taken for your growth and upbringing that every special icon, your father or whom you call your Dad, Thaththa and Appachchi in Sinhala and Appa in Tamil.
moreThis is an opportunity to honour not only your father but also all men who have acted as a fatherly figure in your life, whether as step-fathers, grandfathers or even your ‘Big Brothers’.
He was there for our first step, your first fall and you can count on him to be there when you need him next. Your biggest hero deserves your biggest thanks.
Origin of Fathers’ Day
The idea for creating a day for sons and daughters to honour their dads and to acknowledge the love and affection shown by them first came to the mind of a woman in Spokane. In 1909 Sonora Smart Dodd was listening to a Mother’s Day sermon. Sonora was an unfortunate daughter who had lost her mother early in her life. For Sonora, her father was of special significance because consequent to her mother’s death her father made all the parental sacrifices and in the eyes of his daughter he was a courageous, selfless and a loving man.
Sonora wanted her father to know how special he was to her. Sonora’s father, Henry Jackson Smart was born in June and hence she chose to hold the first Fathers’ Day celebration in Spokane, Washington on 19th of June, 1910.
Many others cherished this good idea which came to Sonora’s mind and they too celebrated the fathers’ day to honour and respect their Dads. At about the same time in various towns and cities across America and in other places people were beginning to celebrate the fathers’ day.
In 1924 President Calvin Codidge proclaimed the third Sunday in June as the Fathers’ Day. Roses are the fathers’ day flowers; red to be worn for a living father and white if the father had died.
Fatherhood – protector and guardian
Buddha has given the honorary title ‘Pubbacariya’ original instructors - to the parents. This title was given because it is from the parents that the children learn everything until they start their school education. Parents teach the children all the virtues in life, find them employment opportunities.
They also find them partners in life and give them as gifts whatever property they have.
The chief male partner in a family is the father. The members of the family have needs and wants. Certain members of the family are too young to get their needs and wants fulfilled. Babies need care and protection as well as love and affection of the parents. Children depend on their parents for guidance, protection, education, health etc. until they are old enough to manage on their own.
As heads of the family parents occupy the pivotal position and being the stronger member father could be regarded as the lynch pin in the family. Mother is the ‘Gedara Budun’ – the Buddha at home - and is regarded as everything for their children but with regards to security and protection father’s role is more important. It is the father who safeguards the whole family including the mother herself.
‘Soyadi nithara kana bona de aneka,
Kiyadi melova visumata honda naraka’
Usually father is the breadwinner in the family and he provides not only food and drink but also various other needs and wants in the family. He is the head of the family and guides, leads, protects and teaches the social ethics.
Brahmati Brahma
Buddha has given the honorary title of ‘Brahmati Brahma’ to the parents. In Buddha’s words parents treat their children according to ‘Satara Brahma Viharana - Brahaminic living or behaviour, viz. living imbued with the four virtues of friendliness (Metta), compassion (Karuna), satisfaction or content (Mudita) and impassiveness or stoicism (Upekka).
Most fathers and mothers possess these qualities and children claim for these virtues from the parents as birth rights, Gautama Buddha setting an example.
Generally father’s wish is to see that his children rise to the apex in life. So was King Suddhodhana – the father of Bodhisatva.
Something special needed
Anyone can be a father in this world. In a married couple the male partner becomes a father when children are born to them.
This biological contribution makes one a father but it takes some one special to be a ‘Daddy.’ In Singalovada Sutta duties of children towards parents are spelt out.
‘Hato Thesan Harissami’ - children should look after the parents when the need arises.
‘Kiccan Thesan Karissmi’ - their needs and wants should be fulfilled.
‘Kulawansan Tapessami’ - the customs and ethics cherished by parents should be respected by the children.
‘Dayajjan Patipajami’ - what is endowed by parents should be protected; and lastly
‘Petanan Kalakatanan Dakkhinan Anuppadassami’ - children should offer merits when the parents are dead and gone.
If these obligations are fulfilled by children old fathers need not beg in streets and there would be no need to have Homes for Elders to house old and feeble fathers who had once played the role of saviors in the respective families.
There are some fathers in this world who fail to earn the goodwill of the children. We in Sri Lanka are fortunate to have traditions according to which the heroes are remembered, respected and honoured.
We have examples of genius men who are treated as great fathers. Various kings who saved the country are regarded as fathers.
For example we treat D.S. Senanayake as the ‘Father of the Nation’ and Dr. C.W.W. Kannangara as the ‘Father of Education’. Let us expect many men in our country to become ‘fathers’ like Vasudeva, and Mahatma Gandhi in India.
Courtesy - Daily Mirror - By Gamini Jayasinghe
