How to deal with your boss

Nothing good can come from a yelling match:

Bad bosses - whether ogres, control freaks, jerks or bumbling fools - can be found in all organisations. They are no laughing matter when you have to face him or her every working day. Having a bad boss can make your work life a misery, but it can also make you sick, both physically and mentally.

Having worked for nearly four decades in the corporate sector, of which first half with a number of not-so-inspiring bosses including tyrants and hypocrites, and the other half as a boss myself, I’ve identified three types of bad bosses and also trade secrets of how to handle them.

Who are these three are the top “bad boss” characteristics:

Micromanager

This type of a boss plays an excessively large role in the work of the subordinates. Instead of letting the team members use their own judgment, the boss makes every decision or dictates every step to take. This can be especially frustrating to capable workers, turning an interesting task into boring work.

Neglecter

This type is on the other end of the spectrum. Unlike micromanager, they fail to give any directions at all. The subordinates feel that their boss is ignoring them. As a result, they feel that they have to guess what their bosses want.

Yeller

A boss who gets angry and abuses his or her workers is probably the worst type of “bad boss.” By yelling at or otherwise belittling his or her employees, an abusive boss fosters an environment of fear. There is no excuse for this behaviour - yet abusive bosses can be found in all sorts of organisations

If you have one of these three types as your boss, it can really siphon out the enjoyment from what might otherwise be a rewarding career, and wondering whether you should begin searching for something new. Before you take that decision, let us see what you can do about it right now.

Managing the bad boss

Let me give you five tips.

Don’t act immediately. Maybe you will want to fight back. You may think of writing a blistering review of your boss and e-mailing it to the CEO. Those thoughts aren’t necessarily harmful. But thoughts don’t have to lead to action. Your boss may be small-minded, two-faced, spineless, and technically inept.

But would a dramatic gesture be worth the lost salary? Is it worth a hole in your résumé, the one you’ll find difficulty in explaining for years to come? This isn’t the economy to choose pride over practicality.

Play the game. You were been unfairly smeared. But don’t let it turn you sour or sloppy. And don’t let your boss get to you, either. Nod and smile when he delivers another self-serving sermon. Maintain a “can-do” attitude, like you have your dream job. Respect and defer, even when trust is lost. You’ll have to work with plenty of bad bosses over your career. You may as well start practising now.

Fix the micromanager. If your boss is a micromanager, first make sure that he or she isn’t merely responding to your own poor performance. If you have shown that you cannot perform good work without heavy-handed supervision, your boss may feel that he or she has to constantly look over your shoulder.

In that event, when a relatively unimportant assignment comes up, ask your boss to grant you additional responsibility “just this once.” If he or she agrees, put forth extraordinary effort to ensure that the project exceeds the expectations.

If your boss micromanages your entire team, you can be confident that it’s not just you. Your next step should be to sit down with your boss and talk about his or her overbearing supervision. It is not an easy task. You may fear that your boss will take your criticism as an attack or otherwise identify you as an “enemy.”

Don’t be scared. In my experience, this type of bosses often respond well to constructive criticism from their subordinates.

Clarification then and there

Many micromanagers have an underlying fear that something will go wrong if anyone is given managerial discretion. You can address this fear by frequently sharing information throughout the course of an assignment. Don’t wait for your boss to ask how things are going; instead, send a daily email with status reports and next steps. This helps reassure your boss that, in fact, everything is under control.

Fix the ‘neglecter’. To fix the ‘neglecter’ type’s problem, you’ll have to be very self-asserting to get your boss’s attention. If you receive an assignment with unclear goals, ask for clarification right then and there. Don’t leave your boss’s office or hang up the phone until you are satisfied that you know what you need to do.

During the course of the assignment, you should also communicate more frequently with your boss. For instance, if you send your boss a key email every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at 4 p.m., he or she will know that it’s important - and be more likely to respond to it.

If that doesn’t work, try to speak face­ to­ face with your boss about getting more direction.

Be specific about what you need and how your boss can be helpful.

Fix the yeller. The only way to deal with a yelling boss is not to take personally the fact that he or she regularly loses self-­ control. The boss’s unacceptable behaviour has nothing to do with you. It has everything to do with his or her own problems, which you can’t fix.

Nevertheless, your behaviour may unwittingly push your boss’s “hot buttons” and trigger a stream of abuse. If you want to stick it out with such a boss, try to identify what those triggers are. Does your boss go ballistic if you arrive five minutes late or if your desk is slightly messy? If so, the simplest solution is to avoid behaviours that invite your boss’s wrath.

But this strategy won’t work if your boss plays the blame game and gets angry whenever an assignment turns sour. You can try to explain the key causes and suggest how you will address them in the future. You can try to brush off abusive behaviour with self-control.

Unfortunately, many abusive bosses know exactly what they’re doing. They’ll push and push until they meet resistance, at which point they’re likely to retreat. The only way to succeed with such a boss is to stand your ground.

Insist that your boss treats you with respect. Be specific about how his or her abusive behaviour is affecting your work and which particular actions are intolerable. But whatever you do, keep your cool; nothing good can come from a yelling match.

If you fail in your all remedies, there are a couple of alternatives. They come with no guarantees, but they may be worth considering.

The first is to wait it out. Bad bosses can be like bullies who eventually get tired of harassing people, particularly once they realise that it won’t get them anywhere.

A boss’s bad behaviour is visible to others, so hanging in there, without complaining, will be viewed positively. And over time, a bad boss may even self-destruct and lose credibility.

The second alternative is to seek other options, both inside and out. Use the situation as an opportunity to reassess your career, your work-life priorities, and how you define success. In the long run, the bad boss will liberate you to pursue another direction.

By Lionel Wijesiri - Sunday Observer

With gun as motif

Thanha Rathi Raga was beautiful crafted, exquisitely executed, prodigious, extraordinary, remarkable cinema - suspenseful, joyous to watch, delightful to enjoy, the masterful command of the cinema being displayed in every frame, the narrative molded with loving hands.

The slow beginning, the establishing of context and character... the motifs and notes to the drama to come, carefully or (or craftily?) planted; working at multiple layers, each layer reveals, in succession, enjoyable cinema, suspenseful cinema, cinematic misfortune... cinematic revelation.... cinematic tragedy.... in varied cinematic facets as it addresses a range of emotions while drilling down to reveal, in every sense, a representation of the national tragedy that has enveloped the (Sinhala?) nation over the 30 years.

A nation which 'accidentally' found a 'gun' and did not know what to do with it, passing it from hand to hand until the country was engulfed. All that and more packed into 2 hours of thoughtful and eventually, heart wrenching ethos and pathos. The build up to a crescendo of the great human tragedy (of our nation?) that seemed without an end.

The story unfolded, leaving an echo of so much to think through, a tale told with warmth, love and understanding of the human condition, played by artistes, a gripping narrative structure built by the script writer/s (?) combining with texture and rendition of the visuals of a very high level of cinematographic consistency and skill and unlabored, smooth, editing - they all added their own special dose of skill and artistry to the blend.

The cinematography amazed me with its consistency of texture and craft, albeit with a few brief lapses. I have seen such evenness very rarely. An evenness which is testimony to a superb grasp of the craft of cinematography, contributing so much without intrusion. Editing bore hallmarks of Ravindra Guruge's consummate skill and again made his silent contribution to the blend. Heenatigala's art direction was meaningful: each location and site 'artfully' chosen and arranged. The opening credits, like the cover of a book, laid out tastefully, setting the mood.

A remarkable achievement, not only because it is a 'first' film but irrespective of a 'first' because it is wonderful cinema, with the stamp of a mature hand, with none of the stumbles of a 'first' film. All in all wonderful cinema, exquisitely rendered.

Sri Lanka needs this kind of cinema every kind of good cinema I suppose but certainly this cinema that is rare, occasional to be exceptional, because it is vision and insight translated into cinematic artistry of a high order. 

www.dailynews.lk - Dr D B Nihalsinghe

Writing Better Emails

In 2013, there were 3.9 billion email accounts, and more than 100 billion emails sent each day are mostly business correspondence. We all find ourselves reading or writing emails and they often convey a lot about ourselves, whether we like it or not. So it makes sense to write emails sensible and professionally, to project a positive image.

Here are some helpful tips to writing better emails.

1. Stick to the same email address and use a standard email address from Gmail, Outlook or Yahoo.

2. If you have a cheesy email address, (e.g. namerox101!) then it is best you move along with the times.

3. Use logical subject lines - Convey the message in a single line and use names and dates. For example, if you are writing to inquire about an appointment the following subject line may help: Appointment for Dr. Smith on October 25th.

4. Write to the point - People increasingly read their emails on their mobile devices. In fact, 69% of Gmail and Yahoo mail was read on a mobile device. Meanwhile, 30% of consumers say they read their email exclusively on mobile devices. These screens are generally smaller than those of PCs, so there is less space available to convey the message. As a rule of thumb, say what you have to say in about 150 words. If you want to check your email, you could use a service like five.sentenc.es to make sure you are not going above the limit.

5. Write concisely with proper grammar (activate spell-check!).

6. Use a clear email signature.

a. Name

b. Positive

c. Contact information

i. Address

ii. Phone Number

iii. Office Hours

7. Social Media Contact Information

8. Use the 24-hour rule - Read quickly and aim to send out a response within 24 hours. If you need more time, send out a quick email informing the sender that you are looking into the email. e.g., “I received your email. I shall look into it in detail and respond later. Thanks!"

9. Re-read before sending - read your emails at-least twice before sending. A spell check alone is not enough. If you are the impatient type, activate an email delay function (available on Gmail).

10. Write with a respectful tone - This means that unless you personally know the person, emoticons (e.g. =D) are not allowed.

11. Be careful of using features like Reply All, CC, and BCC

a. Reply all - do not use this unless you absolutely have to as many people find this extremely annoying. This is best used to set up meetings or perhaps discuss an important concept but not for casual conversations of office banter.

b. CC - this is the FYI function of your email. Keeping someone else up to date on the proceedings.

c. BCC - this is for sending bulk email and you do not want everyone's email address to be visible in the To or CC line. This is best for those forwards you just need to send or risk death. If you are Bcc’d on an email, then never use the Reply All function.

12. Sometimes emails may get lost or accidently deleted. So it's okay to send a quick reminder if the person has not responded within a reasonable amount of time (generally +24 hours).

If your conversation thread gets too long, you may want to edit the subject line to keep things fresh.

dailymirror.lk

How you can learn to love exercise

We all know that exercise is good for us. We join gyms, start running, buy home workout DVDs, all in the quest for a fitter, slimmer, more toned body and improved health. But after a few weeks our interest wanes, we skip a session or two, life gets in the way and then we stop altogether. After a while we tell ourselves we really should do some exercise and then the cycle starts all over again. Regular, long term exercise feels like an elusive goal.

If this sounds all too familiar and you wish you could fit regular exercise into your life without it feeling like a chore, Joanne Henson, author of ‘What's your excuse for not getting fit?’ has some advice: Understand that exercise doesn't have to be unpleasant Many fitness professionals talk about workouts as if they're of no value unless they leave you gasping for air, covered in sweat and sore for the next few days.

For example, Crossfit, High Intensity Interval Training (HIIT) and obstacle races like Tough Mudder - are all about how hard you can work and what you can endure. But absolutely any exercise is better than no exercise - even at a moderate level.

Also, exercise is not a punishment! If you use exercise to punish yourself for what you've eaten, you're never going to enjoy it or feel motivated to do it.

If you love it, you'll do it. So what do you enjoy? Do you like exercising with a friend or do you need to exercise alone? Do you like being outdoors, or do you hate being cold and wet? Do you need variety or do you like the familiar? Do you like high energy activities or something more calming? Keep trying different forms of exercise until you find something which you enjoy - how about hiking, belly dancing, martial arts, ballet, yoga, rowing, boxing, climbing, swimming? Exercise doesn't have to involve joining a gym or running. There'll be something out there which you'll find more fun, more satisfying and more motivating than what you've done before.

Ease yourself into it

If you're new to exercise, or starting again after a long period of inactivity, there's no need to go all-out straight away. Your body won't thank you for going too hard too soon, and the pain, struggle and post-workout soreness will just reinforce any belief that exercise is unpleasant. Take it easy for the first few times - you can always work a bit harder next time, and the next time, and the time after that...

Make it a habit

What do fit people have in common? They exercise regularly and consistently. So make it your priority to establish the habit first - you can concentrate on increasing your level of fitness later. If that means getting yourself to a gym but doing only ten minutes’ exercise per session for the first month, that's fine.

If you get there three or four times each week, you're establishing a routine. Then you can turn your attention to improving your performance.

Pick the right exercise for your goal

One of the reasons people go so hard and give up so quickly is that they are looking for a quick fix, and when they don't get one, they become disillusioned.

Be patient, give it some time, and remember that exercise has long term, ongoing health benefits beyond body shape. If you have a specific goal, and you're going to invest time and effort in exercising, make sure that time and effort is well spent.

What is it you want to achieve? Be honest with yourself, and if necessary get some advice on what would be most effective.

For instance, if you want to tone up your bingo wings, target that area with resistance training rather than go running.

Track your progress

One of the positives of regular exercise is experiencing improvement and progress. If you didn't see any improvement, you'd eventually get disheartened.

So track each small improvement to keep your motivation levels high. For example, if you do your usual run today, and do it fifteen seconds faster than three days ago you wouldn't be aware of this unless you had a stopwatch, or used an app on your smart phone to time your run accurately.

If you knew you'd knocked off 15 seconds you'd be more likely to go out again in two days’ time to try to knock another 15 seconds off.

Exercise does take time and effort, but if you find something you enjoy, establish a habit and track your progress, you'll find it will get easier to stick with it and your body will reward you. You'll look better, feel better (mentally and physically) and be better able to live a happy and active life. What once felt like a chore will feel like a pleasure.

- MNT

සංසාර සිහිනේ...

නෙළාගනු බැඳි හන්තාන සිහිනේ

දරා නෙත් අග දොවා සිත් මල්

ගොතනු මැන ළඳුනේ

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වැහි පබළු යට රගමඬල මැද

ඔබේ දෑතේ තුරුලු වන්නට

බිසෝ හැර ගිය ළසෝ රගහල

අමාවක අඳුරේ

නොයනු මැන ළඳුනේ...

වඩින තුරු සද දුරින් ඉන්නම්

තරු ඇදුරු පෙම් ගී අහන්නම්

සොඳුරු ඒ සද දියේ එන්නම්

ඉඳිනු මැන සොඳුරේ

හන්තාන අරණේ...

ගායනය - පණ්‌ඩිත් අමරදේව සහ උමාරියා

පද රචනය - ජානක සිරිවර්ධන සංගීතය - අරුණ ගුණවර්ධන

ඇසෙන්නේ අප්‍රමාණ මිහිරකි. ඒ මිහිර උපදවනා සුසංයෝගයේ අරුමය විටෙක අප මවිත කරවයි. සිංහල ගේය සාහිත්‍යයේ අප්‍රමාණ සලකුණ වූ පණ්‌ඩිත් අමරදේවයෝ වෙණ නද සරි ස්‌වකීය මියුරුසර පුබුදුවා ලති. ඒ උමාරියා නම් යොවුන් ගායිකාව සමඟය. මුලින්ම මේ සුගායන සංයෝගය පිළිබද යමක්‌ ලියා තබනු වටී.

අමරදේවයන් ඇසුරු කිරීම, ඔවුන් හා ගැයුමක්‌ ගැයීම, ඔවුන් වෙත තනුවක්‌ නිර්මාණය කිරීම, ඔවුන් වෙනුවෙන් පද පෙළක්‌ ලිවීම මේ රටේ ගී කව් රස විඳිනා ඒ ඇසුරෙහි නිර්මාණකරණයේ යෙදෙනා සෑම සහෘදයෙකුගේම සිsහිනයකි. එවන් වූ අමරදේවයෝ නූතන ගී ගැයුම් රැල්ලේ පා වී එන උමාරියා නම් යොවුන් ගායිකාවගේ ප්‍රතිභාව පිළිබද පමණක්‌ සලකා, අතිශය මියුරු ස්‌වර රටා තුළ සුසර වන මහා බරසාර පද පෙළක්‌ ඇය හා ගැයුමට එක්‌වෙති. පණ්‌ඩිත් අමරදේවයන් විෂයෙහි අප තුළ අප්‍රමාණ ගෞරවනීය හැගීමක්‌ උපදවන්නේ මේ ප්‍රවේශය ය. අපේ නිර්මාණ සාහිත්‍යයේ යුගපුරුෂයෙක්‌ ලෙස සම්භාවනාවට ලක්‌වන ජීවමාන මහා ගාන්ධර්වයා වූ හේ ප්‍රකට කරනා මේ ප්‍රගතිගාමී චින්තන විලාසය, එහි ගැබ්වී ඇති ගැඹුර ඇත්තේ අපටත් වටහා ගත නොහැකි දුරකය.

අනෙක්‌ පසින් ස්‌වකීය ප්‍රමාණය හඳුනනා තරුණ නිර්මාණකරුවෝ යම් නිර්මාණයක්‌ සදහා අමරදේවයන් හා එක්‌වීමට ලද අවස්‌ථාව ස්‌වකීය නිර්මාණ ජීවිතයේ ලද අපමණ වු භාග්‍යයක්‌ කොට සලකති. උමාරියා නම් යොවුන් ගායිකාව එය ගනු ඇත්තේ කෙසේදැයි යන්න පිළිබදව අපට වැටහීමක්‌ නොවේ. එහෙත් උත්පත්තියෙන් ලද දුලන ප්‍රතිභාවේ යහ භාවිතය පිළිබද මුල්ම උත්කෘෂ්ට අත්දැකීම ඇය ලබා ඇත්තේ අමරදේවයන් හා ගැයූ මේ ගැයුමෙන් බව අපගේ හැගීමය. ඒ ගැයුම එපමණම රමණීයය. සහෘද රසවතුන් ආනන්දයෙන් පුරවා ලන්නේය.

මේ පද පෙළ ජානක සිරිවර්ධන නමැති කාව්‍යක්‌කාර රසවතාගේය. ඔහු තරම් සුකර ලෙස මානව සම්බන්ධතාවන්හි ගැබ් වූ අතිශය සියුම් වූත් ගැඹුරු වූත් විචිත්‍රත්වය රසාලිප්ත පදපෙළකට හසුකරගන්නා කවියෙක්‌ අපේ කාලයේදී හමුවේ නම් ඒ ඉතා විරලවය. 

ජානක සිරිවර්ධනයෝ කවියෙක්‌ වූ මියුරු කතාකාරයෙකි. විටෙක හේ අපේ මියුරුම කතාකාරයා වන්නේය. මලී, අත්තම්මා වැනි රටක්‌ රසවත් කළ දීර්ඝ රෑපවාහිනී මාලා නාටකයන්හි නිෂ්පාදකවරයා ඔහුය. මේ වෘත්තීය කතාකරුවාගේ විචිත්‍රත්වය වනුයේ ගීයක පදපෙළක්‌ නිර්මාණය කිරීමෙහිද ද ඊට පාදක වන කතාවක්‌ සොයා යැමය. ඒ ඇසුරෙහි චිත්ත රූප මැවීමය. ඒ මියුරු කතාවේ මානුෂික සංවේදනයන්හි චමත්කාරය උකහාගෙන රූපවාහිනි මාලා නාට්‍යාවලියකින් කිවයුතු කතාවක්‌ අතිශය දැනුවත් භාවයකින් තෝරාගත් පද තුළ ගැබ් කර කාව්‍යයක්‌ නිර්මාණය කිරීමය. "හන්තාන හීනේ" පද පෙළෙහි යටිපෙළේ ගැබ් කළ එවැනි විචිත්‍ර කතාවක්‌ තිබේ. ජානක සිරිවර්ධනයෝම ඒ රසපූර්ණ කතාව අපට කියති.

"අමරදේවයන් වෙනුවෙන් ගීයක්‌ නිර්මාණය කරන්නට හැකිවීම අතිශය භාග්‍යයක්‌. අමරදේවයන්ගේ ඉල්ලීම මත ඔහු වෙනුවෙන් ගීයක්‌ නිර්මාණය කරන්නට ඉඩ ලැබීම සැබෑ ලෙසම අප්‍රමාණ භාග්‍යයක්‌. අරුණ ගුණවර්ධන කියන මා කල්‍යාණ මිත්‍ර යොවුන් සංගීතඥයා මාර්ගයෙන් මේ යෝජනාව මා වෙත එනවා. අමරදේවයන් ප්‍රාර්ථනා කරන්නේ නව ගී පද රචකයෙක්‌, ප්‍රභාන්විත යොවුන් සංගීතඥයෙක්‌ හා ගායිකාවක්‌ සමග එක්‌ව ජව සම්පන්න නිර්මාණ කාර්යයක යෙදීම. යුග ගීතයේ ගායිකාව ලෙස අප යෝජනා කළේ උමාරියා නැමැති යොවුන් ගායිකාව. "