Courtesy- Daily mirror - By Sirohmi Gunesekera
She read through the letter twice with great self-control and then she burst into tears!
So Ramesh had made up his mind to leave her and break up their ten year partnership. They had been married for nine years and now he told her he had found someone else.
What could Elsa do? She had built her life around Ramesh. The couple had no children but Ramesh’s companionship had filled the lacuna in her life.
“Surely, I should have seen the signs but maybe I was blind,” she thought to herself. They hadn’t kissed and hugged each other for a while but she had put it down to the fact that both were too busy with their jobs. “It’s a warning to other women and men that if there is a cooling off in their relationship, it is a sign of danger,” she told her best friend, Miriam.
Read more“I feel like committing suicide. I have absolutely nothing left to live for,” confided Elsa.
Miriam too was shocked at the breakup but she advised Elsa; “Why don’t you call up ‘Sri Lanka Sumithrayo’ a branch of ‘Befrienders’ International’ and go for free and confidential befriending? They are open on weekends and holidays too.”
Elsa was hesitant at first but she felt she had nothing to lose by calling. So she called ‘Sumithrayo’ and a warm voice answered and encouraged her to talk. She was soon pouring out her troubles to a sympathetic ear. She was told to come to one of their centres.
Soon Elsa was going for regular befriending and she felt relief wash over her.
“Of course, I still miss Ramesh and cry myself to sleep at night but I no longer feel desperate and suicidal. I know that the ‘Sumithrayo’ are only a phone call away.”
Meanwhile, Elsa is trying to rebuild her life and go it alone. “It’s tremendously difficult when you are used to having a husband around. Ramesh used to pay our bills and ferry me around in his car. That is why I say that one should not be dependent on another. Life is full of uncertainty and you never know when you may be left alone so it is best to learn how to cope by yourself,” she told Miriam.
Miriam herself had been divorced for many years so she understood what Elsa was trying to say. “I am not saying you should not trust a man or a woman! It is just that relationships can break however stable you thought they were. I guess I should be thankful that Ramesh did the correct thing by telling me of his other love rather than cheating on me!” said Elsa.
“Human relationships are very complex because each individual reacts differently. There is no one rule for all,” commented Miriam.
“When I wake up in the morning, I think, “Now, how should I spend my day and force myself not to think of Ramesh however hard it may be. He used to wake me up with a kiss each morning and I miss that. However, I hug my pillow and try not to cry,” confessed Elsa.
Elsa is a devout Christian and she prays to God to give her the strength to cope from moment to moment. “I believe that God has a plan for me and I must accept whatever fate has in store for me,” said Elsa, adding, “Perhaps I will be an example to other women showing them how to cope and go it alone.”
“After all, there are so many women who have no choice but to go it alone. You can either grumble or mumble or you can put up a brave front and smile and go forward,” said Miriam.
“First, you have to make up your mind that you have to face life alone. Don’t waste time on self-pity or think “Why me?” It happens to all!”observed Elsa.
Elsa is now looking around for ways to spend her time usefully so she won’t miss Ramesh.
“Perhaps I could volunteer to help a charitable organization or do some church work,” she thought to herself.
Join the club of those men and women who are going it alone and being strong and comforted.
